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“The Sexual Technician”

It is curiosity, not desire that is the source of this Lover’s sex drive. Mars in Gemini Lovers regard the urgent demands of the body with intellectual distance and rational coolness. Here, sex is less like biology, less like a physical appetite, and more like an excellent excuse for having fun without an emotional connection. These are typically very knowledgeable Lovers who eagerly soak up information about sex. Their mental point of view makes them very adept in the techniques of lovemaking—the skills of giving and getting pleasure. True, they may lack the fiery passion or the breath-taking sensuality of other Mars types, but a few hours alone with any Mars in Gemini Lover leaves us all a little better educated.

The key to understanding the Mars in Gemini Lover is to recognize that sex is not essential to this individual. When sex is available they can revel in it without reservation or conscience, but when it isn’t or when sex becomes problematic for some reason, then this Lover can quite comfortably do without. The Mars in Gemini person sublimates his of her sexuality much more effectively than most of us. Because sex is essentially an idea for them, their sexual energies are easily redirected or rethought. And because sex carries no deep, personal or emotional baggage for these folks, they can look at it without prejudice or shame. Typically, though by no means always, these Lovers have very liberal, experimental ideas about sex.

The reason sex in not essential to Mars in Gemini Lovers is because they base their relationships on intellectual compatibility. Shared thinking and shared ideas are much more important to this person than shared bodily fluids. Sex may serve as a means of attracting a particular person and it may function as a way of increasing and testing intellectual affinity, but it is always seen as a devise. It is quite possible for the Mars in Gemini person to love someone with whom they have never shared sex. It is also quite possible for this Lover to have wonderful sex with people they care nothing about.

It is the latter quality that most often gets the Mars in Gemini Lover into trouble. Promiscuity comes as easily to them as sublimation, and their sexual playfulness and lack of inhibition makes them very desirable and active Lovers. Because sex is not an essential element in their most important relationships, sexual loyalty also tends to mean very little to them. It is often hard for these Lovers not to follow the lead of their incessant curiosity and make love with anyone who happens to interest them at the moment. They may recognize the strain that this kind of behavior places on a relationship but they typically underestimate the importance of these irrational factors. As knowledgeable as these Lovers are about sexual technique, they are often remarkably ignorant about the mechanisms of jealousy and possessiveness.

The Mars in Gemini Lover is often at his or her best when sex in not an issue in the relationship. They are essentially idealists and their most perfect sexual contacts take place in the mind. Physical sex alone can become boring to these Lovers and their technical skill, their sexual inventiveness and curiosity is often merely a means of fending off that boredom. It is only a relationship based on intellectual affinity that will consistently excite and interest them. And, since these purely mental relationships typically lack the complexities and emotional vagaries of physical relationships, the Mars in Gemini Lover can have as many partners as they wish and never have to apologize.


Among our examples of this group we are find many people who took the precept that sex is not important as an excuse to have as much fun as they possibly could. We have inveterate womanizers like Gabriele D’Annunzio, Dennis Hopper, Bobby Darin and Eddie Fisher. We also have some women with the same idea, like Courtney Love, Libby Holman, Josephine Baker and Jenna Jamison. At the same time there are examples of people took this notion in the opposite direction and made sex a relatively insignificant portion of their lives. Examples of this attitude include Mary Baker Eddy, Elizabeth I and Virginia Woolf. Fortunately, most of our examples, like most Mars in Gemini people, fall somewhere between these two extremes.

Also among our examples of The Sexual Technician we have people who became notable for talking about the details their sex lives. Jean-Jacque Rousseau did this his autobiography, confessing such behaviors as masochism, fetishism and exhibitionism. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec did it with his paintings of Paris night life and of the brothels where he occasionally took up residence. Robert Crumb freely used his comic strips to confess the quirky twists and turns of his sexuality and his relationship with the women, while tales of her own romantic disappointments and joys fill the songs of Joni Mitchell.

Among our examples of this type we also see several people for whom sex was an insignificant part of a thriving marital partnership. Franklin Roosevelt and Eleanor apparent stopped having sex fairly early in their marriage but they remained united by ideology and politics. Similarly, Virginia Woolf and her husband, Leonard, gave up on sex soon after they were wed but their relationship remained strong because of their shared devotion to literature. Mary Baker Eddy married a man who agreed with both her Christian Science theology and her personal aversion to physical sex. When British politician Oswald Mosley was a leader of the liberals in Parliament he married a woman who actively supported his views. When he changed sides and embraced fascism, he replaced this wife with a woman with a more conservative ideology.”

If you have Mars in Gemini with Venus in Gemini

you are …

The Technician of Cool Love

You approach sex like a scientist approaches the laboratory. You just can’t wait to see what you will learn. Erotic experiences for you are less a means to sensual pleasure than a way of feeding the mind. Sex is very intense realm of experience but, in essence, no different from any other realm of experience. And for this reason you are remarkably free of both shame and restraint with regard to your sexual experiences and it often surprises you that other people approach the subject with such fear and secrecy. Some may consider your approach cold and clinical but others will appreciate your openness and indefatigable curiosity.

The one element of sexuality that may scare you just a little is commitment. You have no trouble falling in love, but you find it very difficult to stay that way. The most important and enduring relationships in your life will always have more to do with ideas than with sex. The partner who thinks as you do or, better yet, leaves you free to think the way you want will always be closer to you than the person who just gets you aroused. After all, there is no sexual organ more crucial than the mind.


Among our celebrity examples of The Technician of Cool Love are some very remarkable women. Photographer and photo-journalist, Margaret Bourke-White (born June 14, 1904 adb) adopted a casual and, some would say decidedly masculine, attitude toward sex that suited her globe-trotting career and she was not above using her sexuality to gain an advantage as she rose to the highest ranks in a field that had previous been dominated by men.

Another accomplished woman of this type is actress Sandra Bullock (born July 26, 1964 wik) who survived the highly publicized infidelity of her ex-husband while establishing herself both as one of the most powerful women in Hollywood and as a mother. Other notable female examples of this type as are comdian Tina Fey (born May 18, 1970 wik,) actress Uma Thurman (born April 20, 1970 adb,) super model, Naomi Campbell (born May 22, 1970 adb) and singer/actress Courtney Love (born July 9, 1964 adb.)

Former heavy-weight boxing champion Mike Tyson (born June 30, 1966 adb,) is an example of this type whose sexuality has at time been overwhelmed by his personal demons. In Tyson’s case the brutality of his early years and the inner rage that made him such a great boxer have made it difficult for him the express the tenderness of which, at least according to his second wife, he is capable . Other male examples of this group are the rebellious tennis champion Andre Agassi (born April 29, 1970 adb,) actor Al Pacino (born April 25, 1940 adb) and Swiss-born philosopher and author Jean-Jacques Rousseau (born June 28, 1712 wik.) Rousseau capped of a lifetime of unconventional thinking by making a tour of the salons of Paris during his last years and reading aloud excerpts from his autobiography which contain detailed descriptions of his quite varied and, some might say very kinky, sex life.”

Physical sex is not the exciting part of sex.


Everyone has a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. This will vary from person to person, but will usually be just one (or two) of the following:

1. Words of Affirmation - If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you….

Words of Affirmation backed up by Quality Time + Acts of Service = Love

then Physical Touch happens ;)

I don’t spend quality time with or serve people who mostly share toxic or destructive words.

I definitely don’t touch people who have toxic or destructive tongues - or let them touch me.

Spiritually developed people advise showing love to those who hate. I show love to haters (& myself) by leaving them alone to stew in their own hate sauce.


Grab a pen and paper, or just open notepad on your computer!

Read More

On the cusp.

(via loveandzodiac)

It’s “ruff” in the field.

Single? Focus on being a better you instead of looking for someone better than your ex. A better you will attract the Better Next!
I always say, never sleep with someone you wouldn’t want to be.
Lisa Chase Patterson (via awakenedvibrations)


(via handlewithgrace)

Woooooooooooooooooord! Because we are/become who we sex.

(via handlewithgrace-deactivated2013)